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Everything You Need to Know About Wedding Gift Etiquette

Wedding gift etiquette can be a tricky subject to navigate, especially for those who have not attended many weddings or are unsure about what is appropriate. 

Wedding gifts are a way to congratulate the couple and show your support for their union, but it is essential to follow some general guidelines to ensure that your gift is well-received and does not cause any offense. 

In this article, we will cover everything you need to know about wedding gift etiquette, from how much to spend on a gift to when and how to send it.

When do you give wedding gifts?

The first thing to consider when it comes to wedding gift etiquette is the time to send the wedding gift. When to give wedding gift? Wedding gifts are traditionally given to the couple on or before their wedding day.

Ideally, you should send or bring your gift to the wedding or reception. Guests who are attending the wedding ceremony or reception may bring their gift with them to the event and place it on the gift table or in a designated area. If you are attending the wedding, it is best to bring the gift with you rather than sending it beforehand. This allows the couple to receive their gifts on their special day and also ensures that you do not have to worry about shipping or delivery delays.

But if you are unable to attend the wedding, it is acceptable to send your gift before or after the wedding. It is typically more appropriate to send the gift to the couple’s home before the wedding day. In this case, you may want to include a note or card congratulating the couple on their upcoming wedding and expressing your regret that you are unable to attend. 

Some couples may also create a wedding registry or wish list, which can make it easier for guests to choose a gift that the couple will love and use. If the couple has created a registry, it is best to choose a gift from the registry or a similar item that you know they will appreciate.

It is also important to consider the couple’s cultural or religious traditions when giving a wedding gift. For example, in some cultures, it is customary to give money as a wedding gift, while in others, it is traditional to give a specific type of gift, such as a piece of jewelry or a household item.

Ultimately, the timing of giving a wedding gift depends on the individual circumstances and preferences of the couple and the guest. The most important thing is to give a thoughtful and meaningful gift that shows your love and support for the couple on their special day.

Should we follow the couple’s registry?

One of the easiest ways to choose a wedding gift is to use the couple’s registry. A wedding registry is a list of items that the couple has chosen themselves, and would like to receive as gifts. If the couple has registered for gifts, it is a good idea to choose something from their registry as it is likely something they will appreciate and use.

However, if you choose to buy a gift that is not on the registry, make sure it is something that the couple will enjoy. It is important to keep their preferences and taste in mind when choosing a gift.

The couple’s registry will typically include a variety of items at different price points, so you can choose a gift that fits within your budget. If you prefer to give a more personal or creative gift, you may still choose to use the registry as a guide and select an item that is similar to what the couple has requested.

If the couple has not created a registry, it is still appropriate to give a wedding gift. In this case, you may want to consider the couple’s tastes and interests when choosing a gift, or you may want to give something more traditional, such as a piece of fine china or crystal.

If you are close to the couple or have a special relationship with them, you may also choose to give a more personal or sentimental gift.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to give a gift that is thoughtful, meaningful, and shows your love and support for the couple on their special day. Whether you choose to use the registry or not, your gift should be chosen with care and given with joy and enthusiasm.

How much to spend on a wedding gift?

When it comes to the cost of the gift, there are no set rules or guidelines. It is up to the individual to decide how much they want to spend on a wedding gift. Some people prefer to spend more on close friends or family members, while others may choose to spend less.

In general, the range for a wedding gift is typically between $50 to $200, with the average being around $100. However, this can vary depending on a few factors such as your relationship with the couple, your budget or the wedding location and style. If you are attending a destination wedding or have other expenses associated with attending the wedding, such as travel or accommodations, you may choose to give a smaller gift or a monetary gift.

If you are attending a wedding as a couple, it is appropriate to give one gift rather than two separate gifts. The amount you spend on the wedding gift should be a joint decision, and you should both agree on the amount you want to spend.

etiquette for wedding gifts
Photo: Catlane / Getty Images

Is It OK to give monetary wedding gifts?

Monetary gifts are becoming increasingly popular, especially for couples who already have everything they need or are planning a destination wedding. 

Many couples choose to request cash gifts or include a registry that allows for monetary contributions to a specific fund, such as a honeymoon fund or a down payment on a house. 

If you choose to give a monetary gift, it is also great to give it in the form of a check or a gift card. Make sure to put the check or gift card in a card or envelope, so it is clear that it is a gift.

Giving a monetary gift can be a convenient option for guests who are unable to attend the wedding or who are unsure of what to give as a gift. It also allows the couple to use the gift as they wish, whether that be to pay for wedding expenses, purchase something they need for their new home, or save for a future purchase or investment.

When giving a monetary gift, it is important to consider the couple’s preferences and cultural traditions. In some cultures, giving cash gifts is traditional and expected, while in others, it may be considered less appropriate. If you are unsure, you may want to consult with other guests or the couple’s family members to determine what is customary.

If you do choose to give a monetary gift, it is appropriate to enclose the gift in a card or envelope with a note congratulating the couple on their wedding and expressing your best wishes for their future together. You may also want to consider giving a small physical gift in addition to the monetary gift, such as a personalized item or a meaningful piece of artwork.

When it comes to the amount of the monetary gift, it is entirely up to the giver. Some people prefer to give a set amount, while others may choose to give an amount that is equivalent to the cost of their meal at the wedding.

How to give the perfect group gift?

If you are attending a wedding with a group of friends or family members, it may be a good idea to give a group gift. A group gift is a way for everyone to contribute to a larger, more expensive gift that the couple may not be able to afford on their own. Group gifts can be a great option for close friends or family members who want to give a special and memorable gift.

When giving a group gift, it is important to ensure that everyone is on board with the idea and agrees on the amount they want to contribute. It is also important to designate one person to purchase the gift and organize the collection of money.

There are some important etiquette considerations to keep in mind when planning a group wedding gift:

Decide on a gift coordinator: It can be helpful to have one person in charge of coordinating the group gift, to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that the gift is organized and presented in a cohesive way.

Establish a budget: As a group, it’s important to establish a budget for the gift that is fair and reasonable for everyone involved. It’s also important to consider any additional costs, such as shipping or delivery fees.

Determine the gift: Once the budget has been established, the group should decide on a gift that fits within the budget and that the couple will appreciate. It’s important to consider the couple’s tastes and preferences, as well as any items they may have registered for.

Communicate clearly: Communication is key when it comes to group wedding gifting. Make sure that everyone is aware of the budget, the chosen gift, and any deadlines or timelines for the gift.

Include a personal touch: While the group gift should be chosen with the couple’s preferences in mind, it’s also important to include a personal touch that reflects the group’s relationship with the couple. This could include a personalized message or note, or a unique addition to the gift that is specific to the group’s shared experiences with the couple.

Presenting the gift: When presenting the group gift, it’s important to do so in a way that is respectful and thoughtful. This could include a special presentation or ceremony during the wedding reception, or the gift could be delivered privately to the couple before or after the wedding.

You may also like: 40th Wedding Anniversary Gifts Ideas

Do you give a gift for a virtual wedding?

Yes, it is appropriate to give a gift for a virtual wedding just as you would for an in-person wedding. Even though the wedding is virtual, the couple still went through the process of planning and celebrating their wedding day, and they likely still incurred expenses associated with the event.

When it comes to virtual weddings, you can still send gifts to the couple just as you would for an in-person wedding. Many couples provide information about their gift registry or preferred gifts on their wedding website, so it’s a good idea to check there first. You can also consider sending a monetary gift, which can be especially useful for couples who may be facing financial challenges due to the pandemic.

In addition to gifts, it’s also a good idea to send a card or note congratulating the couple on their wedding day. This can be a thoughtful way to express your well wishes and acknowledge the significance of their special day.

Sometimes, personalized gifts are simply the best

Personalized wedding gifts are a great way to show the couple that you have put thought and effort into their gift. Some popular personalized wedding gifts include photo albums, personalized picture frames, and monogrammed towels or robes.

When choosing a personalized gift, it is essential to ensure that it is something that the couple will appreciate and use. Avoid choosing anything too tacky or tasteless, and keep in mind the couple’s taste and style.

“Thank you” notes for the wedding gifts

Finally, it is important to remember that the couple should send thank you notes for all of the gifts they receive. The guest should expect to receive Thank you notes within one to three months after the wedding. The notes should include a personalized message thanking the recipient for their gift and their support.

When writing a thank you note, it is important to mention the specific gift that was given and how much it is appreciated. Personalized messages or anecdotes about the gift or the wedding day can also make the note feel more heartfelt.

In conclusion, etiquette for wedding gifts can be a bit of a minefield, but by following some basic guidelines, you can ensure that your gift is well-received and appreciated. Whether you choose to give a traditional gift or a monetary gift, make sure to put thought and effort into your choice, and remember to send or bring your gift in a timely manner. And if you’re the lucky couple, don’t forget to send thank you notes to show your appreciation for all of the love and support you received on your special day!

Megan Barber
Megan Barber
Megan Barber is the founder of The Gift World. Her writing has also been published in Curbed, Travel + Leisure, Ski Magazine. She is now living with her husband and two kids in Denver, CO. She loves giving gifts to the people in her life. Her gift guides will definitely make your present buying experience as easy and as pleasurable as possible with plenty of great gift ideas for all occasions. When not writing, you can find her enjoying biking the Mile High City or camping across the country in a 4x4 Sportsmobile Sprinter.
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